Ab imo corde

You eat, consume and swallow me whole, as I go down the rabbit hole
Tiny crumbs of attention have me begging for your affection
Droplets of your presence, I thirst for more in silence
With you, I feel whole again, yet what have you to gain?
You’re my first in everything, but I feel like a mere plaything
I become hollow in your absence; I beg you, you are my only balance
Feast on me, have your fill, I will crave for you still
Once in a lifetime opportunity, or was it just depravity?
Back to my ugliness, this is just a new mess 
Had I been better, would you have fallen harder?
Am I truly that bitter over this pretty mister? 
I have given you my heart, which was not quite smart
Something was set ablaze, from your very first gaze
Now I must feel this void, whilst I grow more and more paranoid
I do not know your thoughts. Do you also feel as if in knots?
Show me your abyss, I know something’s amiss
I only wish to aid you. Would you allow me to?
Is it truly such a crime to wish for you to become mine?
What is it that keeps you afar, my bright burning star?
Let me fight those demons which have followed you for aeons
Allow me to understand your mind, or let’s just leave the past behind
I have told you of my terrors, do you think them as errors?
Our moments of warm intimacy keep fueling my expectancy
I saw some of the others; they were lucky to be your lovers
I am filled with numbness, in my head, a new madness
Why couldn’t this be us? I think, as I grow, oh so envious…
Whole body full of bites, is this one of your usual rites? 
I wish I could cry. I just keep expecting a goodbye
In the solitude of each evening, my soul and heart keep bleeding
Oh, how I desire our union as much as the Holy Communion
Excuse me for the allegory, but this is my story
I keep chasing you like a fox; this love feels unorthodox
It looks like you couldn’t care less, why cause me such stress?
I now know how unlovable I am, and I wonder whether you even give a damn
I’ve listened to your every song, and now they all feel wrong
I feel afraid to ask, and yet I wonder… Have you ever removed your mask?
Did we have a deep connection, or was it just my rotten perception?
I was looking for a deeper symbolism, maybe for you it’s just hedonism
This is my only command: please tell me where I stand
I cling desperately to my convictions, yet you bring only afflictions
Loving you burns me to ashes. I see memories of us in flashes
Being ignored by you leaves great gashes. Will you cease your slashes?
I hurt for your absence each day, you shall be my dismay
I wish for just another kiss, though I’m not someone you’d miss
Must I end like this, drowning in the memory of our bliss?
Now I shall stop writing. Forgive me for my incessant whining.